SLEEPOVER SUNDAYS vol. 1

dealing with big life changes, motivation and burnout, conversing and maintaining friendships

Sleepover Sundays is a series we usually do on my @wingograph Instagram stories, where we have some insightful discussion about your questions or thoughts on particular topics. (please do leave any suggestions for future topics in the comments!)

this is the first edition we’re hosting on FRESH - originally this was going into the latest issue, but i got a little carried away with writing and both that and your replies became very long in length! splitting SS into its own little section here makes most sense, and makes for easier reading. this round was a free-for-all any topic discussion - let’s get to your replies!

turning over new leaves.

advice on dealing with big life changes/saying goodbye/graduation and new chapters

change can always be a tricky thing to work through, and experience with it can help to mentally prepare yourself for it, but doesn’t really make the actual process any less affecting or easier. i feel for you! saying a good, thorough and satisfying goodbye is a piece of wisdom my mom passed down to me, and i’ve found it rings so true, and so important. knowing that you can properly close the book on an ending chapter helps you (and everyone else involved) to leave it to rest in the past, and be as present as possible in turning over a new leaf without looking back.

with every goodbye also comes another hello, and amongst the sadness and grief, there can be joy and reasons to celebrate endings too.

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how can i get motivated to do my school work???!?

this was a concept i discovered from one of Sydney Cummings’ post-workout pep talks - you don’t wait for the motivation, you usually have to take the first step and actually get started on the task, then the motivation will come naturally after. i find that’s ringing true as i’m writing right now! whether it’s just opening your textbook and having it in front of you, that already makes it easier for you to get on with the task - it seems more logical to actually do the task, than to close your textbook and pack everything back up again.

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how to navigate a burnout during finals season in uni >:(

i feel for you too!! it’s perhaps one of the worst times to get burnout, but one of the most common times for it to appear, during times when you have the most going on. it probably seems counterproductive, but force yourself to stop working and take a break, however small. even if its 5 minutes, make a commitment to yourself to not even think about work for that entire time, and do something entirely removed from work - some stretching, wash your face, put a song on and dance, anything that soothes you. having a moment away from the constant stress loop of ‘i have so much to get done’ allows you to come back to the situation with a more objective state of mind, where you can pick one thing to tackle at a time.

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i suck at conversations. how to have better conversation with others? :((( i’m socially awkward.

like any other skill, conversing is one you get better at with practice - nobody is born being a good conversationalist, or a bad one for that matter. start small to practice, with your circle of close friends or family, then reach out to others you may not yet know - it helps to have a common interest or goal to relate to, one that you naturally enjoy talking about. you got this!

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How to deal with maintaining a friendship when both ppl like each other but don’t want a relationship?

tough, and potentially awkward situation to be in - though the silver lining is both of you are on the same page about how you feel and what to do about it. the simple answer is to talk through the situation thoroughly, establish solid boundaries, and to hold each other accountable for sticking to them. in reality, that gets complicated when feelings are involved - you might find yourself doing something your rational mind told you not to do. there’s no guidebook on how much you should let your heart or head dictate your decisions, but go with what feels right in each moment, and with the decision that lets you sleep easier at night.

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A close friend of mine hasn’t talked to me in 8 months bc she is mad at me but won’t tell me but tells everyone else but me and I get that I did something wrong but it’s kind of annoying now bc we could’ve just talked about it but it’s been dragged out so long. Idk what to do about it anymore

not sure if circumstances have changed in the past month for you, but it’s a rough situation to be in the centre of for sure. you can reach out or extend olive branches as much as you want, but if the other party is not up for talking (for whatever reason), that is their decision and it’s one you have to respect. it may not be fair, and there may be lots of ifs/buts/should’ves/could’ves - in the end you can only control how you feel and how you respond to what you are faced with. lend yourself (and them) some space from the situation, as much as you can don’t think or ruminate over things, focus on things you enjoy. if you’ve already reached out to talk, you’ve done all that you can do - it’s up to them to reach out when they are ready to.

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over to you! put forth your thoughts and responses in the comments - suggestions for future topics are always welcome!

thank you for joining SS again, and for sticking around for the past three years of SS! i find it easier to write and edit replies in this format than on stories, so we may be sticking to this for now… let’s see. see you for next round, keep an eye out on stories!

love,

wing

head over to freshbywing.com to catch up on past issues of FRESH, and find us on instagram!